Tag Archives: life

Venoms, repeated ponderings.

Posted on September 16, 2023 by CM

I was laying in bed having pretend conversations with people in my head and I liked what was happening and I remembered who I was and thought I should share it. Because that’s what writing is. You share things. How … Continue reading →

Posted in 2023 Steam of Consciousness-ish, Non-Fiction | Tagged anxiety, hope, life, mental-health, psychology | Comments Off

Praise

Posted on September 13, 2023 by CM

Praise God, it seems. I don’t know some days it’s so easy, but it’s important to celebrate that fresh wave of love when it does return, and ride it as long as possible. I think cherishing it makes it last … Continue reading →

Posted in 1000 words, 2023 Steam of Consciousness-ish | Tagged 1000 words, hope, life, miracles | Comments Off

Falling Into Place

Posted on September 12, 2023 by CM

An Adele song plays that I love, that I haven’t heard in ages. I can hear music again. A wellness coach I follow encourages occasional “consumption fasting” in order to get out of self-numbing patterns (not automatically watching shows or … Continue reading →

Posted in 1000 words, 2023 Steam of Consciousness-ish, Non-Fiction, Non-Fiction 2023 | Tagged 1000 words, christ, god, hope, life, manifestation, philosophy, streamofconsciousness | Comments Off

Fear and Art, thoughts.

Posted on August 13, 2019 by CM

Fear fear fear fear, la la la la, fear fear fear fear, fear fear! This is the chorus of my subconscious, no matter what other lyrics abound. It all comes back to this. It is so automatic, so insidious, at every … Continue reading →

Posted in Archive, Non-Fiction | Tagged art, fear, life, nonfiction, process, rambling | Comments Off

Befriending

Posted on June 23, 2019 by CM

Jealousy. Bitterness. Spite. Rage. These course through me repeatedly at various intervals, turning the inner eye inside out. The minuscule veins bloom from the sight-bulb as it scans the lives of others through a putrid lens of desire. It’s an … Continue reading →

Posted in Archive, Non-Fiction | Tagged anxiety, bipolar, Buddhism, depression, emotions, life, mental-health, philosophy, rage, recover, spirituality, transformation, wellness | Comments Off

Briefs

Posted on June 18, 2019 by CM

Years ago I titled this blog after the realization that every day was a chance at redemption, that every day I has the opportunity to rise out of yesterdays ash and reach something higher. Not to suggest that each day … Continue reading →

Posted in Archive, Non-Fiction | Tagged Buddhism, CDF, coredesiredfeelings, depression, life, manifestation, phoenix, selfhelp, selflove, trauma, wellness | Comments Off

Perfect Sight

Posted on June 10, 2019 by CM

There is a white hot rage in me, mixed in with a black tar rotting decay. A festering volcano, the afterbirth of trauma. Lack of control of internal emotional processes. This is a legacy of being overpowered, you really lose … Continue reading →

Posted in Archive, Non-Fiction | Tagged bipolar, crazy, demons, desi, growing up, growth, healing, life, madness, mental-health, pain, parents, philosophy, sorrow, trauma, woc, wounds | Comments Off

Acceptance, Fear, Growing.

Posted on October 26, 2013 by CM

I have to accept where I am. I am not in a good place. I am not in a bad place. I’m in a difficult place. It can get better. It is getting better. I can’t do this alone. I … Continue reading →

Posted in Archive, Non-Fiction | Tagged life, mental-health | Comments Off

Questions

Posted on October 22, 2013 by CM

There is no instruction manual. It’s hard to know what’s right. Check back in. How? Maybe I can. Check back in. Crisis. Danger and opportunity. Can it be repairable? I’m doing abysmally in school. How to refocus, to re-emerge, to … Continue reading →

Posted in Archive, Non-Fiction | Tagged life | Comments Off