Grace and Understanding

I saw that people were subscribing all of a sudden. Maybe it’s a sign.

I’m reforging my relationship with God. Although I suppose that relationship is never actually harmed. We just stop going to it. We stand at the bank with our back to the stream, wondering how we ever got so thirsty. It is in fact that simple.

Coming to God, to Christ, is a remembrance of so many kinds. That there is guidance and love in this world. That we are not lost. That restoration of even a deeply troubled life is so truly possible. Redemption, and all that.

Words I never thought I’d say. Very interesting, this living thing. I am consistently surprised.

I bought a cross today. A necklace. I’ve been wanting one for a while and there’s a lovely little jewelry store nearby and I got one. I want a simple, physical reminder of who I’m serving and what’s giving me strength. I asked for guidance in church last weekend. In prayer. In surrendering to God. I was told that I don’t need to fear this, but rather see it as freedom, as an unburdening, instead of something to do. I was told that Christ is unlike anyone else, and that it is safe to trust him. Over the years I have become to cold and afraid and have buried myself deep in the tundra of neglect and denial. Thawing. This is thawing. Coming to Christ is feeling the sun again for the first time.

I really don’t know anything unless I write. I don’t know who I am. I don’t understand what exists within me. I don’t know what’s happening. I have no hope without words. Maybe I can do this now. Really do this. I keep searching for the right people and the right situations. The right thing I needed was always there, inside, like it always is. For everything. For all people. For everyone, in all time. It’s right with you. Always.